Love, Logic, and rabbit eyes

I am a self proclaimed addict of my ear buds. What I mean by that is, I am addicted to constantly having something playing in my ears via my mp3 player or laptop.  Whether it be music, podcasts, audio books, tv shows online netflix, etc.  I feel it comforts me while I’m cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping etc.  Sometimes, the music stopped or the book ended and I forget I still have my ear buds in.  That is where I will catch myself INNOCENTLY eavesdropping on my kids while they think I’m listening to something. The following was overheard yesterday as we drove to the store.

Daughter (age 10) to Son (age 7) Mama said you have to have your eyes checked too.

Son-No my eyes are just fine

Daughter- You dont know that for sure. That’s why people go to school to become eye doctors you know. So they can make you sure.

Son- Nope I’m sure

Daughter- Well you don’t eat carrots

Son-Because they’ll make you turn orange!

Daughter- Everyone knows that only happens if you eat too many!

Son- Oh…well how do you even know if carrots are even good for your eyes?

Daughter- Duh Gabriel! Have YOU ever seen a rabbit that needs glasses!!

Son- Hmm guess you have a pointer. Ok I’ll eat more carrots… (shakes head) wait… nope can’t do it. I just dont want to turn orange ok!

I am still on the fence of which one of my kids won this debate! lol I gotta love their logic though!!

nighty night

Don’t you just love how kids truly believe with all their hearts that our adult simple little minds do not get the concept of their stalling their bed time?

The coolest is when you actually benefit in some way!

Case in point: I just got a foot massage from my daughter! 30 whole minutes!! All I had to say was “It’s bedtime kids” and after a few “ok” s and “hold ons” from them and with my sighs getting a little more forced she went all sneaky and began on my feet with a massage! And my older son decided it was his manly duty to serve the dogs food and water before bedtime!! What!? Alrighty than.

I think I shall allow them to continue to believe that I am just a feeble minded old person
What do you think?

Back to square one? waaaahhhh!!!!

Ok so I realize that almost all my blogs begin with “It’s been a while since I’ve posted”  I fully admit I am that flaky blogger who posts once every 6 months. I’ve been a semi annual blogger if you will.

In my defense, with the facebook phenom taking over my every being, I’ve been able to do mini mini blogs every day on my wall.   Much fun yet contributing to the demise of my full blown blogging skills.  Which I was barely honing in on to begin with.  But here I am ready to type with so much to say.

My first blog back will be about *gasp* once again my fight with the fat

I just read over some of my older blogs and my pictures I posted of my weight loss.  Wow! I’m so proud of what I did.

I am so sick to say this. I must report that since my operation in september and many other health issues (promise I’m not just making up excuses) I have found the pounds that I worked so hard to lose, attaching themselves ever so diligently to thigh one and thigh two, ok and stomach and of course the butt.  I’m scared that I am becoming once again comfortable with the company of the extra poundage. I am currently at 198! back up from 174!!! GRRRRRR!

As hard as I try to not make excuses, I have allowed myself to do just that.  I cant workout because of the pain.  I eat when I’m depressed. I’m depressed about the pain and the lack of health care I am getting. wait I’m not gaining weight, I’m sure its just water weight. hardee har har.

I must get back on track! If I see the scale hit the 200 mark once again I will spontaneously explode! Or at least find comfort in a half gallon dose of Ben and Jerry’s therapy.  Which I realize would be counterproductive.  But I will be so emotionally distraught that only the assistance of one Cherry Garcia will be able to help me see the happiness in the world once again.  Seriously though, I literally worked my arsh off to lose that weight!   I can’t just let myself go back! Even though I already have

SO I once again am allowing my vulnerability by announcing I am back in the battle of the bulge. I, at least at this moment, am getting my butt kicked by the hard hitting bulge.  But watch out! I’m gonna do it once again and even better this time!!

First things first. I think it may be time for me to find a new doc.  One who has a capable front office receptionist. Its very important to have one of those. Because if they dont relay your messages or at least ANSWER THE DANG PHONE whats the point.  4 times out of 5 my calls go to voicemail.  3 times out of those 4 are due to the front desk person being on a personal call! Ok I cant prove that but, almost every time I’m in the waiting room, she is on a personal call and I witness how the other phone calls are mysteriously ending up with the caller having to hear “You have reached….”   Its so frustrating!!!!

Ok so to summarize, time to find a new doc (even though I absolutely adore and respect our current FNP) and time to stop the weight gain and reverse what I have allowed to reoccur to my health and body.

But first, must check facebook!

Love, Peace, and Harmony,

Vero’s Dieting Guidelines

The following guidelines will assist your progress in dieting:

1. If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, they cancel each other out.

3. When eating with someone else, calories don’t count if you both eat the same amount.

4. Late-night snacks have no calories. The refrigerator light is not bright enough for the calories to see their way into the calorie counter.

5. Cookie pieces contain no calories, because breakage causes the calories to leak out.

6. There are no calories in food eaten from someone else’s plate.

7. Movie related snacks are much lower in calories because they are part of the entertainment, and not one’s personal fuel.

8. If you are in the process of preparing something, food licked off utensils have no calories. Examples: Peanut Butter on a knife and ice cream on a spoon.

Good luck!

All jokes aside, I seriously can’t wait to get back on track after my surgery !! I actually miss my workouts! *gasp* hard to believe huh! Luckily I’ve not gained any weight back. I just havent been able to work on the losing part and toning up part either I was on such a roll too. Oh well. Soon I will heal and I will be back in the game!

Love to ya! XOXO

My morning mommy transformation

Monday – Friday

I go to the rooms of each of my sweet sweet sleeping children.

I turn their lights on and in my best “Im the best mama in the world” sing song voice, I softly say “Good morning my babies! Time to get up!”

I walk to the kitchen to start breakfast. I think to myself, my babies are so awesome. They are up and washing their sweet faces and brushing their lovely teeth. la la la

10 mins later I walk to these little angels rooms to let them know breakfast is almost ready.

Ehem…Those sweet kids of mine are still in bed with covers over their head now.

“Ok baby boy ok baby girl. I said its time to get up. Come on there is still a lot to do to get ready for school.” pull covers off of them and walk away.

Sigh-back to kitchen.

5 mins pass by. Those little farts better be up and washing their faces and brushing their damn teeth!

Walk to their rooms…

“SERIOUSLY?!?!” (notice sing song voice is GONE! we have hit full mama voice mode now! watch out)

“get up now! You have to get cleaned up eat breakfast get dressed comb your hair get you stuff together and get to the bus ontime! NOW! UGH!!”

………….

AHHH… they are sitting in front of me swallowing their breakfast whole answering everything i say with yes mama. and we are out the door on to the bus stop.
Sigh no worries, I got this!

Cut to Saturday and Sunday

6:00 am on the dot

These little people who give me HELL to wake up for school during the week, are breathing in my face and when I crack open an eyelid…

I hear “Mama can i play the xbox?”

SERIOUSLY!!!!!!

Scams, hearts, and wagons

Can we say AVOIDING! Wow its been a long time since my last blog. I will try to make my excuses short and sweet. Maybe one of them will stick:)

So the week after I posted my achievement of losing 5 pounds, a lot of ..well crap happened. 

Mystery.

 A very close friend of mine called me called me and asked me to research something for them.  They received a package in the mail that basically was offering a mystery shopping job opportunity.  It included an letter, instructions, and a cashiers check for 2900 dollars. The instructions told them of certain stores and restaurants they would have to do the mystery shopping at. There were forms for them to fill out after their shopping and dining experience. They were also instructed to do a money gram transfer.  The cashiers check included the funds for these jobs.  Also a portion of the check would be kept as payment for doing the jobs.

Sounded fishy to me. Also to them and that’s why they called me. I am their go-to-gal when it comes to  researching stuff. They trust me and my advice. So me and the world wide web get to work. I look up the company, anyone they linked themselves to, all ripoffreports, better business bureau. Everything passed the test! It’s legit.

Scammed.

Fast forward 3 days later. The call.

“We were scammed.”

What?!?! But I checked it out. I researched. I … I…I…am so sorry. I let them down

I know most of you are all shaking your heads and saying “Well DUH!” Seems obvious that it was a scam. I know I know. But I did the checks. The research. I thought I was helping. I….

They tried to buy gas and their debit card was declined. So a call to their bank told them that the cashiers check did not clear after all and now not only are they out the money that they thought they were depositing (and already spent for the “jobs”) they are out the rest of their money they had in their account to pay bills!

It was a fake. Fake Cashiers check. The check looked real. It was from a legit bank. Hey even the bank teller bought it. She cashed it. She let them withdraw out of it and put the rest in their account.

The scammers are good. They know what the hell they are doing.  The moneygram job. The one to see how the moneygram service is. Scam. They sent them a big chunk of the money. The money from the fake cashiers check that my friends deposited into their account.  

There’s nothing they can do. They had to close their account and now how to pay back 2760 dollars to that bank. Their utility bills got behind because the bank kept their money they had in their account. I mean this scam turn their lives upside down.

Before you judge and say, “that’s what they get.” blah blah blah, PLEASE don’t. They are VICTIMS.  You say “well they let themselves.” Okay so maybe naive and trusting hearts mean that they are easier to attack. Still they are VICTIMS.

Guilt.

So what did the scammers do to me? No my life is upside down like my friends. No I didn’t lose money, or feel the embarrassment of having to tell the police, the bank, the FBI, my friends, my family  that I allowed myself to be scammed.  But I also feel a small part of being victimized. I have this immense guilt and shame. My friends trusted me. They took my word for it. My research. My advice. It would have been one thing if I told them I don’t think they should do it and they still did. But I told them it looks legit. I feel so stupid. So embarrassed. So disappointed in myself.

If you know me you know I am suspicious of many things. If I have a feeling, an intuition, I follow it. I research. I become a detective. I will find the truth and reveal any lies or bullcrap someone is trying to spin. Even if I know it will cause pain initially, if I feel one of my loved ones is being betrayed , I will tell them all I know.

And I thought I did my best to find the information for them about this company. Turns out the company they claimed they were, is a legit company. It is a true mystery shopping organization. The scammers also victimize the companies they say they are. That is why I couldn’t find anything bad about them. I found nothing but good stuff. I fell for it.

Foot off the wagon.

In case you haven’t read my earlier blogs, I started my weight battle. I was working out daily, eating smarter. Etc. I was SO damn proud that I lost 5 pounds! HA!

SO I slipped up.. I am an emotional eater. I hate disappointing anyone. But especially these dear friends of mine. I felt like CRAP! So I fed it. Lets push the feelings of guilt deep down away from my heart into my stomach and cover it up with some doritos and cookies.

couple days after that I tell myself “Snap out of it. I don’t wanna screw up my progress!” Back on track.

Same day I decide that I am back on the wagon, the brakes are slammed on.

The call.

“Mija, I have to tell you something. Dads okay now but..”

WHAT! what happened? wheres dad? Tell me faster because my brain is overloading with awful morbid scenarios.

Background-my dad has heart failure. He was diagnosed I believe in 2002. Around there. I believe he was told only 10 percent of his heart was really working. 

Dad wasn’t feeling well for like a week. But kept putting the doctors off. “I’m fine.” He says.

Well ended up in the hospital for 3 or 4 days that week. The doctors had 3 stints placed into his arteries.

Diving off the wagon.

Yeah. I didn’t fall off the wagon. I done jumped! Too many things too many emotions. Too many reasons to fill my excuse basket.

I have a lot to work on. This isn’t good. Crap happens all the time. That’s life right. Am I so weak that I cant stick to exercise and eating healthy anytime it hits the fan?

Yes, yes I am that weak. Obviously. I gained back 4 of the 5 pounds I lost. I haven’t been on my treadmill for almost a month. 

And because I started blogging about my weight battle, which I did so I can be accountable for myself, I stayed away from blogging!

But I wanted to be truthful with you all who read my blogs. And the truth is I caved. I allowed my emotions to take over.

I am reluctantly climbing back onto that damn wagon. lol I say reluctantly cause all that good crap that has been ”helping” me through this emotional stuff, is SO good! lol When I started I was all gung ho. But now I am battling with myself.

But I don’t want my kids to feel the fear of having a parent being sick. I hate see my dad hurting. I want to be healthy. I want to be better.

Well. So that’s that. I know this a long blog. Believe me I shortened it a lot.

If you made it through my novel, haha, thank you for spending your time with me. I appreciate it and I will not be avoiding my blog anymore!

with love,

My first update-typed up on June 3rd ;)

June 3rd 2009

Ok so I began May 24th. I have yet to post my before picture, because I don’t want to! But since I have lost some poundage I have decided its ok to post the before because, although it may be a small change, I have an after now! woohoo!

I am up to 40 minutes a day on the treadmill.  20 minutes jogging 20 minutes walking!  So lets see that is 10 days minus 1 , um yeah third day in i flaked  :( lol But no more flaking for me! 

k… 9 days working out and cutting back on my junk food and stuff…. drum roll please….

 

 

Tada!!! I have lost 5 pounds!

At first I was like “wow 5 pounds big whoop” BUT than I looked at the tub of margarine in our fridge that is 2.5 pounds and was like holy crap! I lost 2 of those! And I have since found some pics online that depict what five pounds of fat look like…

 

I have to keep going. I now understand that any loss is a wonderful achievement! Not to beat myself up if it takes a while to lose it. How long have I been sitting on my butt, stuffing myself with the crud that has turned into the fat that I am now trying to shed?!  How many cheetos, ice cream bars, french fries, donuts, mcdonalds meals, KING size snicker bars….yuuummmm snickers….. *shakes head* wait no back to the point…where was I.. ok um how much have I eaten to contribute to this monkey on my back (and butt,thighs, arms etc)?!

AND I have learned I also do not have to completely deprive myself of the stuff I love. For instance that oh so dreamy snickers, well they have snack size which is 55 calories versus king size snickers at *GASP* 510 calories!! *whistles*

 

I have yet gotten to this snacking point though.  My plan is too newbie to trust myself with eating only one snack size to kill my craving!  But it is one more goal of mine that I will succeed at!! I have purchase the 100 calorie snack packs of hostess coffee cake! Which works out perfectly for me cause I don’t feel like I am missing out on something good!! I just am not at the will power to push more chocolate away yet! haha

We had pizza for dinner last night. Wait scratch that…we didn’t…my kids and hubby did! I passed on pizza!! OMG! Yes I decided until I am strong enough to only eat one slice, I will forgo another of my faves and had a salad with chicken breast that i baked with Franks red hot sauce! very yummy by the way.

K so this is my update so far. No it hasn’t been easy. In fact just this morning I tried to convince myself to take a day off. Like I needed much convincing! HA!  I literally had to push myself to get on the treadmill. And after I was done I felt so good, so accomplished.

SO I will continue I will succeed. I willmake my goals and be healthier and live longer especially for my babies. I will not have them experience graduations, weddings, career goals, families, without their mama! That is what I can do for them. And that is why I have the drive to do this the right way this time!! Plus I don’t know what my hubby would do without me!! lol He would never find the remotes or the mayo in the fridge! He needs me to move the gallon of milk out the way! haha!

With all this said, I wish good luck to all in the weight battle! Thanks for taking the time to read and comment on my blogs. It truly means the world to me!

Oh and I will continue to  post progressive pics in my “Tracking my Weight Battle” page. Enjoy! haha!

It is time!

~Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom~

208….208….208….208

I weigh 208 pounds!

Well…

 a year ago I was at my highest weight at 216. so. well. i’ve lost…something right? But holy crap! 208!!

I am generally a happy person. (seriously! Lol) But the one thing I am totally unhappy with is my weight.  The pain I feel in my knees, my back, the fact that I am un-energetic, and a bit anti-social right now-all this I attribute to my weight gain.

Today is the day. Today I begin my adventure.  I am a 31 year old-married with children-overweight-exhausted-unhappy with herself -woman.  And it is time.  Time to accept what I have made of myself. Time to get in shape and get healthy. Not only for me, but for my hubby and for my babies.  Time to re-make myself.

I have the wants. I want to feel better. I want to look better. I want to be healthy. I want to feel sexy and beautiful …

I want I want I want!

So here am I, baring my gorda soul in a blog. Lol! It’s a start. And this will help me be accountable. I will post a picture sometime soon-YIKES! Scary I know, but it will be nice when I will be able to post an after to my before!

                                                                                                                                                                        

 

Good luck to me and to all of you who are in the same boat! And thank you  for taking the time to read my blog. I appreciate all of you. And appreciate the support, prayers, and encouragement.

As I said, it is time. So I have to get off my big ol butt and start my workout!

Yay me!

Talking to inanimate objects

I often laugh at my husband yelling at the tv, (EXCUSE me I mean his baby the High Definition 1080 p blah blah blah as he refers to it! )anyway yelling at it during sports stuff. And my dad yelling at his tv during political stuff. ( and omg! talk about needing ear muffs! lol the choice words my dear ol dad has for those shows!! )

Anyhow I caught myself yelling at the tv last night! Now that I think back I’ve been yelling at it since the beginning of this seasons American Idol. Mainly at the new judge Kara! haha Poor thing just doing her job. But her and I DO NOT mesh!  Bad choice adding her. It was fine just the way it was.

So I’m trying to pay attention to how many inanimate objects I talk to. I guess I shouldn’t worry unless they start talking back! Than it just may be time for me to go all girl uninterrupted! Ha!

 

In other thoughts, I am quite thrilled that the only drama in my life right now is me fighting with Kara Diowhats-her-face

All is well!

Surgery and Rootbeer Floats

Yesterday was our youngest child’s surgery. He had the surgical procedure by the name of Bilateral Myringotomy. Sounds scary? Nah its the medical term for ear tubes.

We get there and they take him back almost instantly for pre-op. He, being 3 years old, really had no idea why we were there or what was going on.  For the most part he was very cooperative.  (He was so mad when I took his lightning Mcqueen shirt off and placed the hospital gown on him instead!)

 After waiting over an hour, he began to get very restless.  Wanted to go. Took off the gown and started to put his shirt back on.  lol my strong willed child! The doctor comes over to explain things.  My son is sitting there with his finger in his nose! *blush*

I tell him “stop poking your nose!”

Doc says to Chris ” I love it! Dont stop. Look at me I made a career out of it!”

I laughed so hard! (my mama laughed but the kind of laugh that said um I dont get it. So after he left I explained it to her. He’s an ear NOSE and throat doc. His career consists of poking noses! haha Funny doctor!)

Next the anesthesiologist came to explain his part and then took him from my arms, and baby boy went just fine without a fight. My mama and I were asked to wait in the lobby.

Yes I am the biggest baby when it comes to my babies! I start to tear up and couldnt help thinking “poor baby! He trusted these people cause he knows I did and they are gonna drug him up and slice at him!” ok ok call me a drama mama! lol I accept it.

My mama was trying to send out a text letting our family and friends know he was in the surgery and to ask them to pray. For some reason it wouldnt send, so she gave me her phone and I started to try to figure it out. Then we hear “family of Chris….” I was like uhoh what happened! Cause I swear we were only sitting for like 3 minutes!

Out comes Dr to tell us surgery is over and everything went fine! Holy crap! That was FAST!

We go to the recovery area, and there is no one around to guide us. I just start walking around trying to find my son. I hear his cry, open the curtain and sure enough there is a nurse trying to hold my baby. He was not having it. He wanted me.

So I sit with him for a while. He was throwing a fit! Was crying screaming doing the whole arching his back thing. He was so out of it! Nurse said this was normal especially for kids coming out of the anesthestics. That it was due to his feeling disoriented not due to pain. My first thought was “how do you know the kids dont feel pain unless you’ve had the surgery yourself?”

Anyhow not too long after, we were released and on our way home. He was crying every 15 minutes. He kept saying his left ear hurt real bad Which happens to be the ear where the ear drum burst about a month ago due to an ear infection.

To calm things down, daddy suggested we have rootbeer floats! That went over very well! So daddy was the hero last night, to all the kids! Nothing like yummy vanilla icecream floatin in good ol rootbeer to cure sadness!!

Time for bed, baby boy was crying and kept breaking my heart over and over cause he would say “Mama leaved me. Mama leaved me.”  Seriously!?! I was aching all over when I heard him saying that between sobs! He felt so betrayed by me!! waaaahhhh!!

 

Cut to this morning.  We all had a good nights sleep. I asked him how he was feeling and he said ” I fwee bettie” Which translated means ” I feel better.” YAY! And it seems I have been forgiven for betraying him and handing him over to strangers to drug him up and slice at him! woohoo! Mama is redeemed!

I am looking forward to seeing a difference in his health. Ear infections cut down, and maybe his speech will improve since the doc said the fluid that was staying in his ears was cutting his hearing by 50%! We’ll see and I will keep you posted!