Scams, hearts, and wagons

Can we say AVOIDING! Wow its been a long time since my last blog. I will try to make my excuses short and sweet. Maybe one of them will stick:)

So the week after I posted my achievement of losing 5 pounds, a lot of ..well crap happened. 

Mystery.

 A very close friend of mine called me called me and asked me to research something for them.  They received a package in the mail that basically was offering a mystery shopping job opportunity.  It included an letter, instructions, and a cashiers check for 2900 dollars. The instructions told them of certain stores and restaurants they would have to do the mystery shopping at. There were forms for them to fill out after their shopping and dining experience. They were also instructed to do a money gram transfer.  The cashiers check included the funds for these jobs.  Also a portion of the check would be kept as payment for doing the jobs.

Sounded fishy to me. Also to them and that’s why they called me. I am their go-to-gal when it comes to  researching stuff. They trust me and my advice. So me and the world wide web get to work. I look up the company, anyone they linked themselves to, all ripoffreports, better business bureau. Everything passed the test! It’s legit.

Scammed.

Fast forward 3 days later. The call.

“We were scammed.”

What?!?! But I checked it out. I researched. I … I…I…am so sorry. I let them down

I know most of you are all shaking your heads and saying “Well DUH!” Seems obvious that it was a scam. I know I know. But I did the checks. The research. I thought I was helping. I….

They tried to buy gas and their debit card was declined. So a call to their bank told them that the cashiers check did not clear after all and now not only are they out the money that they thought they were depositing (and already spent for the “jobs”) they are out the rest of their money they had in their account to pay bills!

It was a fake. Fake Cashiers check. The check looked real. It was from a legit bank. Hey even the bank teller bought it. She cashed it. She let them withdraw out of it and put the rest in their account.

The scammers are good. They know what the hell they are doing.  The moneygram job. The one to see how the moneygram service is. Scam. They sent them a big chunk of the money. The money from the fake cashiers check that my friends deposited into their account.  

There’s nothing they can do. They had to close their account and now how to pay back 2760 dollars to that bank. Their utility bills got behind because the bank kept their money they had in their account. I mean this scam turn their lives upside down.

Before you judge and say, “that’s what they get.” blah blah blah, PLEASE don’t. They are VICTIMS.  You say “well they let themselves.” Okay so maybe naive and trusting hearts mean that they are easier to attack. Still they are VICTIMS.

Guilt.

So what did the scammers do to me? No my life is upside down like my friends. No I didn’t lose money, or feel the embarrassment of having to tell the police, the bank, the FBI, my friends, my family  that I allowed myself to be scammed.  But I also feel a small part of being victimized. I have this immense guilt and shame. My friends trusted me. They took my word for it. My research. My advice. It would have been one thing if I told them I don’t think they should do it and they still did. But I told them it looks legit. I feel so stupid. So embarrassed. So disappointed in myself.

If you know me you know I am suspicious of many things. If I have a feeling, an intuition, I follow it. I research. I become a detective. I will find the truth and reveal any lies or bullcrap someone is trying to spin. Even if I know it will cause pain initially, if I feel one of my loved ones is being betrayed , I will tell them all I know.

And I thought I did my best to find the information for them about this company. Turns out the company they claimed they were, is a legit company. It is a true mystery shopping organization. The scammers also victimize the companies they say they are. That is why I couldn’t find anything bad about them. I found nothing but good stuff. I fell for it.

Foot off the wagon.

In case you haven’t read my earlier blogs, I started my weight battle. I was working out daily, eating smarter. Etc. I was SO damn proud that I lost 5 pounds! HA!

SO I slipped up.. I am an emotional eater. I hate disappointing anyone. But especially these dear friends of mine. I felt like CRAP! So I fed it. Lets push the feelings of guilt deep down away from my heart into my stomach and cover it up with some doritos and cookies.

couple days after that I tell myself “Snap out of it. I don’t wanna screw up my progress!” Back on track.

Same day I decide that I am back on the wagon, the brakes are slammed on.

The call.

“Mija, I have to tell you something. Dads okay now but..”

WHAT! what happened? wheres dad? Tell me faster because my brain is overloading with awful morbid scenarios.

Background-my dad has heart failure. He was diagnosed I believe in 2002. Around there. I believe he was told only 10 percent of his heart was really working. 

Dad wasn’t feeling well for like a week. But kept putting the doctors off. “I’m fine.” He says.

Well ended up in the hospital for 3 or 4 days that week. The doctors had 3 stints placed into his arteries.

Diving off the wagon.

Yeah. I didn’t fall off the wagon. I done jumped! Too many things too many emotions. Too many reasons to fill my excuse basket.

I have a lot to work on. This isn’t good. Crap happens all the time. That’s life right. Am I so weak that I cant stick to exercise and eating healthy anytime it hits the fan?

Yes, yes I am that weak. Obviously. I gained back 4 of the 5 pounds I lost. I haven’t been on my treadmill for almost a month. 

And because I started blogging about my weight battle, which I did so I can be accountable for myself, I stayed away from blogging!

But I wanted to be truthful with you all who read my blogs. And the truth is I caved. I allowed my emotions to take over.

I am reluctantly climbing back onto that damn wagon. lol I say reluctantly cause all that good crap that has been ”helping” me through this emotional stuff, is SO good! lol When I started I was all gung ho. But now I am battling with myself.

But I don’t want my kids to feel the fear of having a parent being sick. I hate see my dad hurting. I want to be healthy. I want to be better.

Well. So that’s that. I know this a long blog. Believe me I shortened it a lot.

If you made it through my novel, haha, thank you for spending your time with me. I appreciate it and I will not be avoiding my blog anymore!

with love,

My first update-typed up on June 3rd ;)

June 3rd 2009

Ok so I began May 24th. I have yet to post my before picture, because I don’t want to! But since I have lost some poundage I have decided its ok to post the before because, although it may be a small change, I have an after now! woohoo!

I am up to 40 minutes a day on the treadmill.  20 minutes jogging 20 minutes walking!  So lets see that is 10 days minus 1 , um yeah third day in i flaked  :( lol But no more flaking for me! 

k… 9 days working out and cutting back on my junk food and stuff…. drum roll please….

 

 

Tada!!! I have lost 5 pounds!

At first I was like “wow 5 pounds big whoop” BUT than I looked at the tub of margarine in our fridge that is 2.5 pounds and was like holy crap! I lost 2 of those! And I have since found some pics online that depict what five pounds of fat look like…

 

I have to keep going. I now understand that any loss is a wonderful achievement! Not to beat myself up if it takes a while to lose it. How long have I been sitting on my butt, stuffing myself with the crud that has turned into the fat that I am now trying to shed?!  How many cheetos, ice cream bars, french fries, donuts, mcdonalds meals, KING size snicker bars….yuuummmm snickers….. *shakes head* wait no back to the point…where was I.. ok um how much have I eaten to contribute to this monkey on my back (and butt,thighs, arms etc)?!

AND I have learned I also do not have to completely deprive myself of the stuff I love. For instance that oh so dreamy snickers, well they have snack size which is 55 calories versus king size snickers at *GASP* 510 calories!! *whistles*

 

I have yet gotten to this snacking point though.  My plan is too newbie to trust myself with eating only one snack size to kill my craving!  But it is one more goal of mine that I will succeed at!! I have purchase the 100 calorie snack packs of hostess coffee cake! Which works out perfectly for me cause I don’t feel like I am missing out on something good!! I just am not at the will power to push more chocolate away yet! haha

We had pizza for dinner last night. Wait scratch that…we didn’t…my kids and hubby did! I passed on pizza!! OMG! Yes I decided until I am strong enough to only eat one slice, I will forgo another of my faves and had a salad with chicken breast that i baked with Franks red hot sauce! very yummy by the way.

K so this is my update so far. No it hasn’t been easy. In fact just this morning I tried to convince myself to take a day off. Like I needed much convincing! HA!  I literally had to push myself to get on the treadmill. And after I was done I felt so good, so accomplished.

SO I will continue I will succeed. I willmake my goals and be healthier and live longer especially for my babies. I will not have them experience graduations, weddings, career goals, families, without their mama! That is what I can do for them. And that is why I have the drive to do this the right way this time!! Plus I don’t know what my hubby would do without me!! lol He would never find the remotes or the mayo in the fridge! He needs me to move the gallon of milk out the way! haha!

With all this said, I wish good luck to all in the weight battle! Thanks for taking the time to read and comment on my blogs. It truly means the world to me!

Oh and I will continue to  post progressive pics in my “Tracking my Weight Battle” page. Enjoy! haha!

It is time!

~Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom~

208….208….208….208

I weigh 208 pounds!

Well…

 a year ago I was at my highest weight at 216. so. well. i’ve lost…something right? But holy crap! 208!!

I am generally a happy person. (seriously! Lol) But the one thing I am totally unhappy with is my weight.  The pain I feel in my knees, my back, the fact that I am un-energetic, and a bit anti-social right now-all this I attribute to my weight gain.

Today is the day. Today I begin my adventure.  I am a 31 year old-married with children-overweight-exhausted-unhappy with herself -woman.  And it is time.  Time to accept what I have made of myself. Time to get in shape and get healthy. Not only for me, but for my hubby and for my babies.  Time to re-make myself.

I have the wants. I want to feel better. I want to look better. I want to be healthy. I want to feel sexy and beautiful …

I want I want I want!

So here am I, baring my gorda soul in a blog. Lol! It’s a start. And this will help me be accountable. I will post a picture sometime soon-YIKES! Scary I know, but it will be nice when I will be able to post an after to my before!

                                                                                                                                                                        

 

Good luck to me and to all of you who are in the same boat! And thank you  for taking the time to read my blog. I appreciate all of you. And appreciate the support, prayers, and encouragement.

As I said, it is time. So I have to get off my big ol butt and start my workout!

Yay me!

Talking to inanimate objects

I often laugh at my husband yelling at the tv, (EXCUSE me I mean his baby the High Definition 1080 p blah blah blah as he refers to it! )anyway yelling at it during sports stuff. And my dad yelling at his tv during political stuff. ( and omg! talk about needing ear muffs! lol the choice words my dear ol dad has for those shows!! )

Anyhow I caught myself yelling at the tv last night! Now that I think back I’ve been yelling at it since the beginning of this seasons American Idol. Mainly at the new judge Kara! haha Poor thing just doing her job. But her and I DO NOT mesh!  Bad choice adding her. It was fine just the way it was.

So I’m trying to pay attention to how many inanimate objects I talk to. I guess I shouldn’t worry unless they start talking back! Than it just may be time for me to go all girl uninterrupted! Ha!

 

In other thoughts, I am quite thrilled that the only drama in my life right now is me fighting with Kara Diowhats-her-face

All is well!

Surgery and Rootbeer Floats

Yesterday was our youngest child’s surgery. He had the surgical procedure by the name of Bilateral Myringotomy. Sounds scary? Nah its the medical term for ear tubes.

We get there and they take him back almost instantly for pre-op. He, being 3 years old, really had no idea why we were there or what was going on.  For the most part he was very cooperative.  (He was so mad when I took his lightning Mcqueen shirt off and placed the hospital gown on him instead!)

 After waiting over an hour, he began to get very restless.  Wanted to go. Took off the gown and started to put his shirt back on.  lol my strong willed child! The doctor comes over to explain things.  My son is sitting there with his finger in his nose! *blush*

I tell him “stop poking your nose!”

Doc says to Chris ” I love it! Dont stop. Look at me I made a career out of it!”

I laughed so hard! (my mama laughed but the kind of laugh that said um I dont get it. So after he left I explained it to her. He’s an ear NOSE and throat doc. His career consists of poking noses! haha Funny doctor!)

Next the anesthesiologist came to explain his part and then took him from my arms, and baby boy went just fine without a fight. My mama and I were asked to wait in the lobby.

Yes I am the biggest baby when it comes to my babies! I start to tear up and couldnt help thinking “poor baby! He trusted these people cause he knows I did and they are gonna drug him up and slice at him!” ok ok call me a drama mama! lol I accept it.

My mama was trying to send out a text letting our family and friends know he was in the surgery and to ask them to pray. For some reason it wouldnt send, so she gave me her phone and I started to try to figure it out. Then we hear “family of Chris….” I was like uhoh what happened! Cause I swear we were only sitting for like 3 minutes!

Out comes Dr to tell us surgery is over and everything went fine! Holy crap! That was FAST!

We go to the recovery area, and there is no one around to guide us. I just start walking around trying to find my son. I hear his cry, open the curtain and sure enough there is a nurse trying to hold my baby. He was not having it. He wanted me.

So I sit with him for a while. He was throwing a fit! Was crying screaming doing the whole arching his back thing. He was so out of it! Nurse said this was normal especially for kids coming out of the anesthestics. That it was due to his feeling disoriented not due to pain. My first thought was “how do you know the kids dont feel pain unless you’ve had the surgery yourself?”

Anyhow not too long after, we were released and on our way home. He was crying every 15 minutes. He kept saying his left ear hurt real bad Which happens to be the ear where the ear drum burst about a month ago due to an ear infection.

To calm things down, daddy suggested we have rootbeer floats! That went over very well! So daddy was the hero last night, to all the kids! Nothing like yummy vanilla icecream floatin in good ol rootbeer to cure sadness!!

Time for bed, baby boy was crying and kept breaking my heart over and over cause he would say “Mama leaved me. Mama leaved me.”  Seriously!?! I was aching all over when I heard him saying that between sobs! He felt so betrayed by me!! waaaahhhh!!

 

Cut to this morning.  We all had a good nights sleep. I asked him how he was feeling and he said ” I fwee bettie” Which translated means ” I feel better.” YAY! And it seems I have been forgiven for betraying him and handing him over to strangers to drug him up and slice at him! woohoo! Mama is redeemed!

I am looking forward to seeing a difference in his health. Ear infections cut down, and maybe his speech will improve since the doc said the fluid that was staying in his ears was cutting his hearing by 50%! We’ll see and I will keep you posted!

Flashback…

With all this swine flu talk in the news, twitter, blogs, and just about everywhere you look, I find myself looking back and some health issues we have had within our family.

I realize since starting this blog and meeting many of you on twitter, I have not talked about this. So I wanted to give a background story. The following is actually my journal entry  on caringbridge.com giving a background story of our trials with our baby girls health.

So flashback to 8/20/2007:

Background Story

A description of the trials we’ve faced this past year:

In August of 2006, Isabel began Kindergarten at a public school.

By the end of that very first week, she was sick with a cold and a double ear infection. Thus began a year of recurring infections, From ear infections to strep throat, colds, flu, sinus infections and respiratory infections.

We expected her to get sick easily in the beginning, she was being exposed to so much so fast. Since I am a stay at home mama. She was hardly around all that.

But it quickly turned into doctor visits every other week. Then every week. By November, it was 2 or 3 times a week.

She has always been a very sensitive child. Very emotional. So in touch with all that happens around her. We began to notice her overly emotional. Following one of her worst tantrums during a school field trip, she came down with a very high fever. She had a few canker sores develop by night. The doctor decided to run some blood tests. The results came back showing abnormally low white blood cells. Particularly her neutrophils. We were sent to retest. By the end of that day, May 10 2007, she was admitted into UMC. She had about nine or ten canker sores by then.

More blood tests, an mri, cat scan and a lumbar puncture later, we were still left wondering what was going on in her little body. All we knew was that her immune system was basically shut down.

After about 4 days there, we were assigned a pediatric hematologist, & sent home with orders to have her blood checked twice a week for 2 months. Since then she has been diagnosed with Cyclic Neutropenia.

“The term neutropenia describes the situation where the number of neutrophils in the blood is too low. Neutrophils are very important in defending the body against bacterial infections, and therefore, a patient with too few neutrophils is more susceptible to bacterial infections.

Everyone has been sick with an infection at one time or another. That’s because it’s easy for bacteria and viruses that cause infections to get inside the body. Healthy people don’t often get infections even though bacteria and viruses are all around us, even in the air we breathe.

The body protects itself against the constant risk of infection by making a lot of neutrophils. They are your main defense against infections.

People with neutropenia get infections easily and often. Most of the infections occur in the lungs, mouth and throat, sinuses and skin. Painful mouth ulcers, gum infections, ear infections and periodontal disease are common. Severe, life-threatening infections may occur. Often the child or adult must be hospitalized and receive intravenous antibiotics. Symptoms which patients experience depend on the level of neutropenia. The lower the neutrophil count, the greater the risk of infection. This risk increases if low neutrophil counts persist for more than three days. Types of infection include otis media; tonsillitis; sore throat; mouth ulcers; gum infection and skin abscesses. Any fever (body temperature above 38.5° C/101.3° F) must be taken very seriously .

Severe neutropenia can lead to serious problems, which require prompt care and attention as the patient could potentially develop a bacterial, fungal or mixed infection at any time. These infections can be life threatening when the patient is persistently severe neutropenic and it is therefore important that if the patient develops any signs or symptoms of an infection, then he or she should be seen by a doctor as soon as possible and treated with medications to fight the infection (such as antibiotics). “

http://www.neutropenia.ca/about/index.html

Talks of a bone marrow biopsy have been put on hold. We were told that they will be doing one, but they are trying to hold off as long as they can.

What she has been diagnosed with has been compared to Leukemia. We have to keep her isolated as much as possible from other children and anyone who is sick.

After she was in the hospital, I left my part time job at my friends home daycare. We have to be very careful about what she is exposed to. We also have her being home schooled now.

Having the ability to stay home with baby girl has been a wonderful blessing. The doctor told us that he is surprised at how we have kept her out of the hospital as much as we have. Many kids who suffer the same thing are in and out of the hospital every month.

Her little body gets drained very quickly. She feels pain in her bones and in her joints. The doctor compared it to arthritis. She has migraines. At times has no appetite. Which, for those who know our baby girl, is very unusual! (She wants to be a chef or a proffessional food taster! )

Anyhow, through all this, she has great spirit. Yes she has her days, her moments, her down times. But other times, most times, she is smiling, playing with her brothers, and so eager to learn new things. No matter what, she is always full of love. Every day we count our blessings. And we are always able to see how the Lord is taking care of us. Of our baby girl. Isabel “Star”.

Okay present day, she is thriving! We had her tonsils taken out last june. She is back to her school where she is top of her second grade class! Her lows have been higher. And we have full faith that she will be cured 100% of this!

Back to swine flu aka h1n1 virus.  Yes it scares me. Just like any virus or illness scares me when it come to my babies. Especially Isabel.  I never ever want her to be thrown back to square 1 with her health.  So I may become mama paranoid for a while.  I wont take her to stores or many public places. The only thing is school is still in session til the 20th of this month. So gonna keep sending her with antibacterial gel in her back pocket!

So please always practice common sense when it comes to covering your mouth or sneezing and washing your hands. Because even if your immune system may be able to kick the butt of these virus’ and bacterial infections, you never know whose baby around you has a compromised immune system. At home with flu to us means hospital stay to them.

Myths of a Stay at Home Mama pt.1

Ok on to my first blog I know I will have to do in parts.

I will put it out there first and foremost this is MY view. My blog my view on mine and my husbands choices. I in no way am talking down to the parents that work outside home. I know being a stay at home parent is not for everyone. Whether it be financial, career bound, or just needing to miss your kids, I would NEVER presume that I am better in any way just because I am fulltime mama. I would NEVER judge anyone for having different parenting style then myself.

I have been a stay at home mom since 2003 when our second son was born. 

I loved my job I left. I worked for the county here and was there for 9 years.  Wonderful benefits. Great pay. Loved my coworkers/friends.

But when we found out we were expecting again, it was a given that it was time to lay aside my outside the home job and pick up my fulltime home job.

The main reason being, that I just couldnt see someone else raising my children.  It was hard enough leaving my baby girl to go to work. (And even than I was blessed in that my mom was my childcare provider! At that point my mom had left HER job to care for my grandma who had alzheimers. So she also took care of our baby girl.)

Talking it over with my husband, he agreed it would be the best move for our family.  Looking at the financial parts of it, after healthcare, daycare, gas to get to work, in essence my paycheck would only bring home 200.00.  Not to mention the agonizing feeling I would have leaving both my babies at a daycare (my grandma had passed away and my mama was returning to work). Getting up early to feed them get them dressed and drop them off to strangers just wasnt in my heart. It just wasnt worth 200.00.

My husband is awesome! He never second guessed our choice. Even when we had to endure people (i.e. family members) telling us we were crazy or theres no way we can make it on one income etc.  He always said he wants me there for our kids.  His priorites for our family completely matched mine!

No,it hasnt been easy. There is much to sacrifice. Especially financially. Then mix in 2 job layoffs, major health issues with one of our babies, family drama, and of course all the normal issues that occur within a family of 5, its been a roller coaster of great proportions!

But still we have absolutely NO regrets in our choices.

Myth # 1 A stay at home mother is nonworking

To this I say HA!

 Being a mom already means a lot of work and in diverse ways, there cannot be a day when you are “out of work”.  Being an at home mom well, lets see No “sick days”. No “lunch hours”. No “15 minute breaks”. Hell you can barely go to the bathroom alone without having your 2 year old barge in to watch you! No one to sit with and talk about how your weekend was or why you and your husband were arguing or laughing about you know who, who did you know what at the office happy hour.

Nope your day consists of cooking cleaning (which I will touch upon later) reading Dr suess, getting kids up ready for school dropping them coming home cooking cleaning the kids up after eating, diaper changing putting them to nap waking them up because you are running late to pick up the older kids at school, helping with homework , scolding, loving, hugging, playing the judge the law enforcer and the referee within your kids fights cooking cleaning bathing …take a breath…repeat over and over again. and much much more!!  You get the picture.

Not that working outside of the home means you dont have these responsibilties. But you have to admit there is much to be said about being away from that part of your life while the “work” part is able to take over.

So no being a stay at home mom does not mean I am non working.  Doesnt mean I’m lazy.  Gotta say this is THE hardest busiest job I’ve ever had. And so far the most rewarding! 

Wine, the park, and the green bracelet

I was supposed to go to a wine tasting event with my mother in law. But due to no one available to babysit, I had to pass. so sad. sweet sweet wine….*sigh*

What to do?

What else. Have fun with my kiddos!

It was so beautiful outdoors today. Even though, as I told my mom, the weather here has a touch of bipolar lately! Up, down, hot, cold, windy, still. Its so hard to figure out how to dress my little people here!

Anyhow, we got ready and set off to the park. Trying to beat the Saturday birthday party rush, we got there in good time.

So we’re there not 10 minutes and I hear,

“Mom its so hot!”

already compaining?!?

“you should’ve dressed us in shorts!”

Whoops. My bad.

My children are badly spoiled by air conditioning.  I should get them out more often.

But as I have said many times before “Too bad, so sad!”

“Go play!  have fun and enjoy getting your dose of vitamin D!”

And they did!

An hour later…Time to go! Had no problems getting them in the van and then I hear…

“My bracelet is gone! It’s not in my pocket!”

No not my daughter. My son.

Both Isa and Gabe received a R.O.A.R award at school on Friday. This award is a rubber type bracelet (think Lance Armstrong bracelet) with the R.O.A.R. imprinted around it. Respect Of All Rules. And the last one he received was stolen by one of the school bullies. So this time he doesn’t want to let it out of his sight, yet doesn’t want to wear it so that certain eh-em people don’t see it.  And this one is green. his most favorite color in the whole world.

Back to the park. Actually the van at this point.  I know how much this bracelet means to him. So we all got out of the van and scoured the park. By this time swarming with birthday goers.

Over and over we looked. I asked kids if they saw it, nope. Finally decide its gone. Time to go. So sorry honey!

In the van, my son near tears, I explained to him that had someone found it they would have never known who it belongs to with all these kids here. And they most likely kept it.

I feel a sort of rage as I look out at all the kids thinking, “which little bleepin bleep stole my baby’s bracelet!” Whats wrong with me! lol Its a rubber little thing. Not like I spent hundreds of bucks on it. shoot I didn’t spend anything on it!

But as a parent you get this protection thing against anything that hurts your baby, even over something as trivial as a rubber bracelet.

So as I am explaining to him that I’m sure no one did it to hurt him, I see off in the distance a girl wearing a green rubber bracelet!

“Come on Gabe!”

We run over to her and I was trying to think how I would prove it was his. We get next to her and…

(*pant pant pant* gotta lose some of this belly weight! *gasp* catch my breath…)

…it wasn’t green after all. It was turquoise. And it said something like “PEACE” on it! lol

Red faced I still asked her and her little crew if they’d seen his bracelet.  Without looking up from her blackberry, (yes I said blackberry! and she was at the most 10 years old! holy crap is that what I have to look forward to!!) anyhow without looking up she said

 ”what does it look like?”

I said “like yours but green”

She said “No but if we see it we’ll bring it to you.”

“Thank you!”

Back to the van. All in a matter of minutes, I was able to calm my son down, excite him with the thought that I found it, then deflate his big ol green balloon of happiness once again. Well there goes my mom of the year award.

All is well when we get home. He’s most likely already forgotten about the stinkin bracelet we looked for, for nearly 30 minutes.

“Thanks for taking us to the park mom!”

“yeah thanks! We love you!”

*hugs*

Awwwww! And that’s the only mom award I ever need!

 

oh yeah.. by the way…he found his bracelet! he had stuffed it in one of the smaller pockets in his pants. DOH!

 

And in sets the blogging insecurities…

My goodness.  As if I don’t have enough insecurites!  I seriously gotta stop this comparing myself to others thing. Cause ya know its just not fun.

I have been sitting here for a while trying to get my mind in blog mode.  I found myself trying so hard to get my thought process going I’m scrunching my eyebrows together (great – more creases in my face-and yes I said creases, not wrinkles!) as if in deep thought, yet no thought was really there to be deep in.   So what in the hell am I scrunching my eyebrows so much for?  I should have no expression due to no thoughts therefore helping iron out the crease rather than adding to them.

I figured I’d go and read some of these other mom blogs I’m getting into.

Maybe gain some inspiration.

 Holy crap. They are good!  And there begins the comparing crap!!

How can I barely be on my like 4th blog and already have bloggers block?! And these other mamas are on fire with their blogs!

Leave it to me to allow something that is supposed to be cathartic, to become stressful and difficult! What the hell is wrong with me! ha!

Maybe I should just stick to the whole twitter way. You know only 140 characters to worry about filling in a line! I can manage that.

Nah I really enjoy this kind of stuff. I figure I just gotta find my groove right?

hello?

anyone?

Well there’s always tomorrow. And its the weekend, so I’m sure my crew will give me plenty of material to work with! Until then…ttfn!

moms not here. leave a message pls.

There are some days…those days…the days where you’re functioning somehow, someway, but you might as well be in outer space for all you know…that I wish there were an answering service for mamas.

“moms not here at the moment. please leave a message at the beep and she will get back to you when her brain is turned back on. beeeeeeeeeep.”

Funny thing is it seems that these are the days that these precious little people require the most of me.

mom. mom. mama. mom. mom. ma. mom. mama. mom.

Then the mr gets home and adds to it.

babe.mom. mama. vero.mom. babe. ma . mom.

And remember those “Calgon take me away” commercials? I was too little to appreciate the thought process behind those ads when they first came out. But now I soooooo appreciate them! ha!

Doesn’t mean I dont love being mama/wife. Its just those days ya know. 

And today is definitely one of those days.